In Which The Title "Happy Curtains" Will Not Match the Post Content

First I would like to toast a glass to the longest title for a post on this blog so far.

Secondly, I would like us to put down our imaginary glasses of Ribena for now. If you have been following the posts in the blog, you'd realise that the posts are getting more depressing.

It's like when you read my posts, the tension from the seriousness of it on your computer screen can be cut with the pointy end of the cursor.

Not really.

Anyway, today's post is on the topic of "Problems".

Not just any problem like a puzzle though but problems that psychologically terrify and change you for the worse. What everyone knows is that everyone has a terrifying problem that confuses them and changes them.

What everyone doesn't realise until they sit down and actually think is why they feel so lost and alone when faced with these questions.

We're afraid of being judged.

The thing is, we are desperate to find someone to share our problems with and hopefully(with a bit of luck), they will understand and be able to not just sympathise but actually empathise. Unfortunately, it is in human nature to judge someone when you do not understand their point of view.

What does it mean to be judged when your point of view is not the same as the person judging you?

Well, I guess that everyone has a certain idea of what this "terrifying problem" is. For some people, it is a big problem when you are lonely and have no one to talk to. For others, they can put up with being lonely but when they face verbal abuse, it is the breaking point for them.

To put it in a conclusion, we tend to judge the problems of others based on what we, as individuals, think is a awful problem. For some strange reasons, no matter how aware we are of the fact, we are unable to think that it is not the situation the person is in that decides how terrible and psychologically affecting the problem may be, but by how big the negative impact on the said person really is.

With this fact in mind, we are afraid that we are unable to find someone to empathise with us, or worse, judge us negatively on how we react to the problems we are facing.

Yes, we have all scoffed at someone. I know I have. Sometimes, when I see people whining and crying over schoolwork, I tend to think "How is that such a big problem? I have the same exact homework as you and you're crying over it? I have even bigger problems than that!"

I guess I too forget that I'm not suppose to judge the situation but the impact of the situation on the person.

Sure, it's difficult to empathise with someone when we believe that there are bigger problems than the problem of the person who we have difficulty empathising with but we have got to try our best to take that mental block we have away as much as possible. Catch yourself making judgements on the person's problem? It's alright, just stop and try to concentrate on what the person who is telling you about their problem is saying.

And if anyone wants to compare problems with me to try and judge me, go right ahead. I'm providing the details at the bottom because I need to tell someone or something that is not my pale-white wall.

I'm lonely and frustrated that I don't have much friends to talk to. Whatever friends I have left feek distant and I feel like I'm always left out of the loop. I hate that I've changed so much this year and that I've been unable to concentrate on anything. I hate that I can be so mean at times and I'm so afraid that I've hurt people without knowing it. I hate that when I hear laughter, I think people are laughing at me even if they're complete strangers. I'm upset that I feel second to everyone. I don't have a friend to confide in and to empathise for me. I don't understand why I have to urge to cry and I tear up all the time without even understanding why. I hate that I think these are big problems. I hate that this paragraphs is so full of "I"s.

Some may choose to wonder why I lose sleep over such "petty problems" and some may actually understand. Honestly, I really dislike it when people cut me off while I'm talking to them and then try to compare their problems to mine and it makes me feel worse because they make me feel like as if my problems aren't terrifying or important.

But in the end, we can't force people to share their problems and we can't expect to always be able to understand everyone. We also can't expect people to act the way we want them to.

But hey, that's some people isn't it. Just like how there are some things we can never truly solve or understand.




P.S. Perhaps I have made a slight mistake in my post title about the post not matching the title but boy do the curtains in the video have the potenital to look happy.

Too School For Cool

Before I go on tell you another story, I'll tell you this story.

So my brother is some volunteer person for a Biology Olympiad thing and he got to bring home souvenirs which is pretty cool.

Until I saw this.

To put this in simple terms, this is definitely a win.

Candy coloured like flags, yes please.

So anyway, back to the story that is related to the title. I am officially too school for cool. It has come to the point when saying "Oh My Gosh" is too hip, too trendy, too teenager-esque to be said to a homework-completing, glasses wearing girl who is forced into the "Nerd" box at first glance.

Yes, according to some, I am no longer an approved person is utter such a phrase or anything else that society associates with stereotypical teenagers.

We shall put this in a Spelling Bee contest perspective shan't we?

Host: Your phrase is "Oh My Gosh".

Contestant: Umm...how was it used?

Host: OH MY GOSH I FOUND LOOKING FOR ALASKA IN THE SCHOOL LIBRARY. WHO INTRODUCED IT, I MUST FIND THE PERSON AND HUG THEM. OH MY GOSH. OH MY GOSH.

Contestant: O-H-M-Y-G-O-S-H

Back to the point, I was stopped from celebrating the arrival of a wonderful book just because I simply used the phrase "Oh My Gosh".

The video below shows that I am allowed to be excited and happy about things despite the nerdy status I am forced to carry around. Unfortunately this does not seem to be the case in reality.

Yes. Maybe.

I just realised that two posts down, I said that I would be posting "Trip Part 2".

Two posts down a.k.a "Story Time 3".

So, I should be getting it done soon but the lack of inspiration, increase of distractions and the Great Mount Homework has prevented me from doing so.

Nevertheless, I shall post a completely irrelevant topic to what is stated above this sentence now.

Commonly Asked Questions (Wheeee!)

Q: Are you Filipino/have mixed blood?

A: Nope. I am 100% Chinese. Also the phrase "mixed blood" makes me feel really uncomfortable because of the word "blood" and I'm starting to think of blenders and gory things. Darn.

Q: Are you a lesbian?

A: Even my mom asks me that. Mind-bloooooown. Nope, I'm not.

Q: Are you like really into science?

A: No, I'm like really into arts. However, I do think that quantum physics is fascinating and I have as much respect for people who win Nobel Prizes for Science as for people who win Tony Awards.

The next part of the post is mostly useless facts for my own reference.

I have 16 draft posts.

Some titles include: I Should Be Doing Something Else, Escaping The Sun, Kaaaatniss, Wait For Me!, There They Go

Alright, I can guess that there is a 50 per cent chance you are procrastinating on the internet while your work cries silently for your attention. Now that I've filled your brain with useless information, go do your homework if you have any.


It's a short post but I really need to get back to my homework now.