Hello there. This will be an actual blogpost.

Because blogs are web logs like online diaries.

And not those little paragraphs of hyperventilaton, paranoia and dry humor that I love to write.

Also, I highly doubt that web logs contain writing that it sounds like it's from a six year old.


Dear Mr Online Diary,

Hello. I would like a pony. Because all my snobby friends have one. And make it glittery, so they'll be jealous. Even though I don't like glitter on anything except my dresses.

Love, Your Paranoid six year old Writer.


No.

Just. No.

I don't even like ponies. (sorry pony lovers) They're just...pony-ish.

Maybe it'll be more like:


Dear In-tee-me-day-ting White Box,

How are you? I am fine. I am six today! Look, my brother helped me set up this reeeeeally cool thing. It's called a BLOG! It's like a web log. Take out the web, you get a log. It makes me feel like a pirate! You know, pirates have logs to keep track about the stuff that goes on the ship.

See you around soon! Daddy's gonna get me a pirate costume for Halloween!

P.S. Mommy tells me that pirates are actually thieves who have no education and will stay single forever. She also says most of them suffer because of scar-vey due to lack of ve-tar-minn C. Their teeth will drop off and so will mine if I don't eat my fruit. I'm scared.

P.S.S. Daddy told me not to get my "hopes too high" on being a pirate. He says eating stale biscuits would "suck real bad". Mommy yelled at him. I told him my hopes were in my head and not in the sky.

P.S.S.S. Also, Mommy hit herself on the forehead when I begged them not to make me suck on stale biscuits.

WHAT AM I DOING?! I am meant to be writing a post! A diary! On today!

I promise, I will write a proper entry about today.

THIS WILL BE A MUNDANE AND EXTREMELY BORING POST THAT STRANGELY ENTERTAINS EVERYONE.

Or maybe it is because I simply have a dry sense of humor.

Or that my fun side is even more boring than my boring side.

If that is even possible.

Somehow I feel like as if I'm writing like when I was eleven.

No wonder no one laughed at my jokes.

Here I go again, completely gone off topic!

So today I went to school and...

Oh shoot.

I don't really have anything to say.

That must mean ONE thing.

I am older than six.

Because if I am really six, I would be writing about my "play time at school" and that delicious tart my "good friend brought to school".

Oh great. Now I don't have an reason for my horribly childish writing.

Excuse while I go read the dictionary to make myself look smarter.

You know...to make up for my stupidi-I mean height!