Honestly, I really don't know.

I don't know.

Not The Best Title

That is all.

Writing

Life can be pretty awful at times.

Or even all the time.

I don't know if what I'm going to say sounds stupid to you.

But I love writing.

God, it makes me so, so, so very happy.

Sometimes, when I'm just scribbling sentences in a notebook I have this urge to cry.

Because I'm just so happy.

It makes me so happy.

I Should Be Studying

Well, my examinations have just started two weeks ago. Instead of focusing on it, I've been distracted by other things like...oooh shiny paperclip.

Anyway, this post will contain a terribly jumpy "blogger" (is that what people on blogger are called) that writes like she has just consumed a sack of sugar. White sugar and all that good stuff. Please be warned that you will be exposed to swearing and remember to sign the contract to signify that you are aware that reading this blog post will cause your IQ to lower significantly.

You have been warned.

Did you sign the contract yet? Make sure you have signed in dark blue ink. We don't encourage you signing with your blood.

Don't ask why. You can't ask questions.

Besides, why did you choose to read this.

So anyway...

HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK.

This was pretty much my reaction throughout the time I was watching Neon Genesis Evangelion.

IT WAS TRUE. I WASN'T EXPECTING THAT.

They're only fourteen and there's just so much that they've gone through.

I WANT TO HUG THEM BUT I ALSO WANT TO PUNCH THEM AT TIMES (especially Shinji, Asuka and Gendo).

Sometimes, the show just throws a certain idea at you and makes you wonder about it for a while. And when they finally reveal an answer, they throw you another damn mystery.

SUSPENSE.

SO MUCH SUSPENSE.

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

The suspense is clawing at me. Like they literally hired someone to dress up in a latex suit with the words "tension" and "suspense" printed all over it and now that hired person is scratching me with Wolverine claws and every scratch leaves behind the word "anticipation" on my swollen skin.

I was watching episode 20 and I was like WHAT THE FUCK and pretty much tossed my pillows around the room.

Spoilers ahead. No one reads my blog anyway so I'll go on.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I need to know. WHO OR WHAT IS REI.

WHAT IS UP WITH THE EVAS.

WHY DID SHINJI SAYS HE KNOWS THE EVA. HOLY SHIT.

hfjhfkjahjkewhwjkgwkgjkwegekwjghwjekghjekghajewghjaghjegh

Okay, I'm back. I'm on episode 24 now and my questions are slowly getting answered. I heard that the next two episodes are going to mess things up and make it confusing so I think I'll watch those episodes another time.

In other news, ASUKA ARE YOU OKAY.

WHAT? SO LATE INTO THE SHOW AND YOU'RE INTRODUCING A FIFTH CHILD???

I don't get this kid at all. What is he?

Hold on, smooth-talker alert.

I'm just going to watch the rest of the episode now.

I LOVE AND HATE THIS SHOW.

dbhvfjvhvhwjvhejvhsvhjkwevjvh dkfkjghakfghe bkhkjf ewbjkeh bfjewhfkj bshjekfhgkjseh

See you next time.

Possibly

For someone who has never passed a class test on algebra or understood their history textbook, there are many concepts and other things in the world that continue to befuddle the thoughts of my teenage mind.

One of those rather tricky topics is gender equality.

While people on tumblr bravely post text posts after text posts of their views on the issue, I find myself sitting on my bed attempting to separate everything into black and white.

That's pretty much the point where I give up thinking about such things and decide to go watch cartoons instead.

With issues like this, I can never seem to clearly define a good view or a bad view from a neutral point. I'm always finding grey parts in everything.

I never wanted to decide on my opinion but there has to be a day when you have to take a firm stand to speak out against something.

That day came sooner than I thought.

I was at a camping trip organised by my school this week. One of the things we were required to do was to go to a school to teach the students. At one point of the lesson, my classmate decided to give out prizes to the kid who raised their hand the fastest and answered the question correctly.

The kid who raised their hand first was a boy. 

After giving the prize to the boy, my classmates decided to allow only the girls to receive the next prize.

I suppose that from my classmates' point of view, it was only fair to allow a girl to get the next prize after a boy got one.

That was when I found myself protesting to it before I could fully process what they has planned.

I lost the battle anyway. Everyone against one.

I know that discrimination against women is a much bigger problem than discrimination against men. According to the lessons we have back in school, women are always in much more danger than men and the situation for girls are often worse in many parts of the world.

But still, at that moment, I wanted to stand up and fight for the boys in that class the very moment my classmates announced that only girls could get the prizes next.

You might disagree with me, but I believe that just because one boy received the one prize, does not mean that the rest of the boys are denied to chance of winning one. It's just unfair, being unable to receive a prize because of your gender.

Despite the fact that we were taught that boys will mostly have more privileges than the girls, I still couldn't let this go. I argued that it was unfair to the other boys. If another boy raised first, that would still be fair to everyone.

The second problem was that my classmates felt that the girls would not be able to raise up their hands as quickly as the boys.

I can't help it if this makes me sound silly. I felt that the girls are able to do things as well as the boys. Just because we're girls and are considered physically weaker does not mean that we can't do something like raising our hands as fast as boys can.

I was relieved when the next fastest person to raise up their hands was a girl. Number one, it was still considered fair to everyone as she was the fastest among both the girls and boys.

Number two, it proved my point that the girls could raise their hands just as fast and there was no need to act like they needed a help for something so simple. They're just as capable.

As much as there shouldn't be any discrimination towards the female population, there mustn't be any discrimination towards the male gender either. There shouldn't be discrimination towards anyone. I think that it's important to keep things fair as much as possible.

I am still bothered by the choice made by my classmates and when I tell people about it, they simply laugh and say it doesn't affect my life anyway.

I still can't help but wonder if the students learnt from the bad example. After all, my classmates never explained why they had suddenly allowed only one gender to claim the prize.

I hope that they don't learn anything from it. Because even this could affect the fight for gender equality. For all you know, the boys could have denied a girl a chance to do something in the future and vice versa for the girls.

Whatever it is, everyone deserves a fair chance. No matter your race, religion, sexuality, gender or financial situation, I feel that to achieve as much fairness in society as possible, we need to set the example of being fair as much as possible.

I wish I could have put my thoughts down in better words. But the point is, I'm still trying to figure out certain issues. And even when I'm forced to take a stand, I can't help but wonder if it's even possible.

We Come In Peace, 2013

I'm a little late for my annual greeting but nevertheless, it's better late than never.

So, hello there 2013! You must be a little surprised to be here. 2012 just ran past us really quickly!

And I believe you will too-as soon as we find a pair of expensive sneakers for you.

All jokes aside, I will now send 2012 off with a thank you for being such a lovely and eventful year. In reference to the post I made to greet 2012 last year, you have indeed lived up to the expectations of 2011 and I can't wait to see you pass that excitement to 2013.

I hope that 2012 has set a great example to what may be ahead this year. For 2013, you are an important year in which I must absolutely have to stick to my resolutions.

Also, THIS IS THE YEAR OF THE O LEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEELS!

I literally jumped onto my sofa and shouted that in a rather agonized voice after the countdown.

There are great expectations, 2013. But I believe that you and I can get through this together.

With the help of some others of course.

This year, we'll correct some of the things that needed improvement from 2012 and we'll remember the good things from it too.

But most of all, I think we'll be able to accomplish some things that no other year had ever done before.

Oh it will be busy alright, 2013.

But somehow I know that we can definitely get through the year's obstacles.

And off we go, to a new year!

A Post Containing a Video

I need this on my blog.

Inspiration

I like to think that everything that a person does is influenced by something in their lives. That without that influence, we would be something completely different. That we would never have done certain things because that influence was not present in our lives.

I'm currently trying to finish my holiday assignments at this very moment and have just completed one of the book reviews I am required to do. As I had my computer switched on, I decided to take a break from the scratching of an old pen across lined paper and instead type up a post for this blog.

Anyway, I am going to list the things that inspire me to like or do a certain something. Not everything of course(that would to take too long) but those things that matter most.

I suppose that this shall have to be considered one of the more serious posts on this blog. But not serious-depressing like some, it is more like that this post will lack the random bits of humour or air-headed sayings that some other posts may contain. Perhaps the next one will be like that? I must stop delaying the post of the tutorial (mentioned in an older post) any further.

I don't think I would like to become a serious writer that only writes for a living as some people have suggested to me. I still do, however, love to write and read and do count it in as one of the most important and wonderful things I love to do.

I shall start with how I began my love for reading.  Reading was sort of an accidental thing, really. I didn't have anyone forcing me to push my nose into a book or anything like that. Back in Kindergarten, we had reading circles and I would get really frustrated because everyone read so slowly. During a trip to Kinokuniya(a bookstore) when I was six, my brother got my parents to buy me Roald Dahl's Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. It was kept in a small bookshelf, never to be touched till a year later.

Around that time, I had entered primary school. A classmate had recommended Enid Blyton's books to me. Being curious, I dragged my parents into a bookstore (MPH, to be specific) and I got two books that day, "The Magic Brush" and "The Brave Little Puppy". I also discovered the local newspaper's comic section.

After my collection of Enid Blyton books grew, I wanted something else to read. I found the abandoned Charlie and The Chocolate Factory on the shelf and decided to read the book my brother had picked out for me.

I loved the book.

I had never read anything like it. Well, probably because I've never read much other than newspaper comics and Enid Blyton. I couldn't stop reading it! It was just so exciting. It felt like someone had pulled me into the Chocolate Factory and I was watching the adventure unfold before my very eyes. It was amazing.

After finishing the book, I got my parents to buy me the whole set of Roald Dahl's books for Children. I remember when I read about how you could travel anywhere with a book in "Matilda", I thought it was the most magical thing ever.

 Before I knew it, I had finished reading them.

By then, I grew bored of just reading the comic sections and went on to reading short newspaper articles and the funny pages of magazines. My books were all dog-eared and some sentences were underlined in pencil from when I tried to teach my toys to read.

I was already seven when a friend told me about The Chronicles of Narnia. I had only read The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe at that time as I felt it was the most interesting one. Nevertheless, I was absolutely astounded by the wonders of the magical place and a grand lion, Aslan.

This also led to hours of conversation on the phone with said friend as we imagined working for Aslan and the Pevensie children.

Fast forward.

I was nine when I discovered What Katy Did. I had read quite a bit by then and that was the one book that stood out. It was rather humorous at some parts. Though it wasn't meant to be a book made purely for laughs, I felt that the comedic elements was so well-written that I would someday write a novel which had comedic parts that made others laugh as much as I had with What Katy Did.

When I was eleven, I was required to read Oliver Twist as part of the school's literature programme. I absolutely loved it. Sometimes when I re-read the things I've written after having read the book and compare it to the stories I've written before I read the book, I can see the influence and the change in the style and the stories I wrote. In other words, my writing has been greatly influenced.

There are many books that shaped and changed my perspective on reading and writing. I'll provide a little list of some I have not mentioned:

-Ways To Live Forever by Sally Nicholls
-Judy Blume's Fudge Series
-A Bear Called Paddington by Michael Bond
-Diary Of A Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney
-The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot
-I Am Not A Serial Killer by Dan Wells
-Jacqueline Wilson
-Coraline by Neil Gaiman
-Chocolat by Joanne Harris
-Dav Pilkey
-The Perks Of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
-Topsy and Tim Series by Jean and Gareth Adamson

And honestly, I could go on and on but it's dinner time now.

So today, I wrote about what inspired me to read and write. Perhaps next time, I shall write about the thing I am most passionate about.

No, get your head out of the gutter. I did not mean using the internet is what I love the most.

Honestly, the gutter is full of absolute nonsense and rubbish.

Throw it all in the Cauldron

To brew today's blog post, we'll need:

-A pinch of laziness

-A spoonful of random videos that one particularly enjoys

In order to fully appreciate this video post(also known as a post that lists videos one likes when in grumpy cat mode), one must grab a cup of hot chocolate and a blanket and settle down in front of a computer or laptop screen.

I Can't Afford Anything

This post will contain a tutorial.

You see, when I give instructions, I have this tendency to spill a bottle of good o'l vulgarities which later spread through the sentences I speak. If vulgarities were a liquid, they'd spread of course. Hence, the bottle.

An example would be like this:

You take the censored little piece of paper and you bend the censored edge towards here. Then you take this little censored and fold it across in this censored direction. Censored yeah. Afterwards, you grab this censored corner and censored fold it down over here. There, you have a censored magnificent paper aeroplane. Enjoy your censored flight.

As you can see, I have censored some of the words. This will hopefully please and frustrate people of two groups. Oh anyway, though I have the urge to spill that o'l bottle all over this post and letting it seep through the words which I am typing, I SHALL NOT.

But you can imagine the appropriate vulgarities (that sounds like an oxymoron, ha!) in between sentences yourself, can't you?

Onwards!

As much as I would love to write the post with an introduction like:

I'M DIRT POOR. I SHALL TEACH YOU THE WAYS OF BEING POOR.

I'm really not and do very much appreciate this fancy second-hand laptop I own, thank you very much.

However, I do have the tendency to be rather thrifty and sometimes can be a little extreme as to calculate the amount of savings I can make with writing pad value packs at a bookstore.

I am, for the record, pretty much the only person I see tapping away at a tiny phone calculator and muttering numbers under my breath in front of value pack sections in bookstores.

And as much as this may sound a little strange to some, merchandise is a no-no for me.

Better off saving the money for the future. There I said it.

This results in me side-eyeing the censored out of people who just stroll into conventions and blow thousands of bucks in a second.

I know I used a censored in the sentence above but the sentence pretty much begged for it. So please excuse it this once. Honestly, reading the word censored is much more annoying than reading the actual word itself.

Back to the topic, I can't afford to spend any money on merchandise when I could be saving up for rainy days is a better title for this post but I decided to keep it simple.

Thus, to overcome one's hunger for overpriced merchandise, I have followed in the footsteps of my fellow starved fangirls who experience a similiar fate as I do. What similarity you may ask?

It is that we all do not live in mansions near beaches which sand seems to shimmer like gold, own fifty plump ponies and a collectible dinosaur fossil and never seem to have the heart to break their stuffed piggy banks.

We turn to making our own merchandise. It's as easy as curtains, copper and candy.

For example, due to my inability to donate a hundred bucks to Homestuck's Kickstarter, I could only look at Scalemates through the photograph provided by the site.

Number One: I couldn't get my hands on a credit card.

Number Two: I could never spend a hundred dollars on merchandise.

I found the solution to this problem upon discovering handmade scalemates. This led me to this useful tutorial which I shall post a link to again because I do not wish for you to trouble yourself to find the link which I had also post previously.

Here it is.

And here's a picture of my second scalemate! I'm in the middle of making my third one.

Well, there was suppose to be a tutorial here according to the first sentence, I have none right now. I am working on a project though which I suppose I shall make a tutorial for. I think I shall post it as soon as I get the materials, make the project and take those photographs.

I was totally joking about the side-eyeing thing by the way. It's nice to see such eager people, even when they're buying merchandise.

And there are new curtain rails (or whatever you call those things curtains are attached to) in my house now! The old ones were rusty and broken. So that's some news on something new! 

Badly-Drawn Dragon

I'm still a little tired and rather confused after returning from my week long trip to Malaysia. It seems that while I was away, my family members decided to get haircuts and rearrange the furniture in the house.

Ah well, I suppose I will get used to it all soon. In the meanwhile, as I did not feel like writing about my trip, I drew a dragon on Paint instead. A badly-drawn one according to the post's title. It's supposed to look goofy to cheer people up.

So here it is:

Candy, Costumes and Head-Splitting Volumes

It was difficult coming up with the title for this post because I didn't want it to simply be "AFA 2012" or something like that.

Anyway, I did attend the AFA yesterday which was the last day of this year's event! I met up with Sam before going to the Expo where it was held this year. I wish I had taken more photographs!

It was actually pretty hilarious because when we found Jamie(who sits next to me in History class) and her friend, they talked about how the Sword Art Online booth had pretty much sold out everything. We went to take a look at the mentioned booth afterwards which was really cleared out. The only thing left were sample products, sword replicas, character stands and a backdrop.

Sam and I decided to count the number of Vocaloid cosplays we could find and pointed at every one of them while shouting a number. We managed to count up to 48! The cosplays were really adorable. There was this duo who dressed up as Sion(I'm not too sure about the spelling of the name) and Nezumi from No.6 and I wish I had taken a picture of them. They seemed kind of busy though so I left them alone to enjoy the festival.

Oh and there was this guy who I asked if what he was dressed up as was from Resident Evil 5 because I saw it in the game and thought it looked so familiar.

I was right!

To make a really long list short, there were tons of cosplays from all sorts of animes. Some really popular ones were like Ao No Exorcist, Fairy Tail and K. There was a big group of Hetalia cosplayers (especially a really awesome Chibitalia) and a really impressive Iron Man.



I really like their expressions, haha!







It was really fun! I learnt a lot from Sam who I am pretty sure bought every Saber (Fate Zero) file we came across. That reminds me, Sam also bought Takoyaki and then proceeded to burn her tongue (gosh, burn sounds odd. from eating the freshly made snack. Afterwards, she went and got herself a free cup of hot coffee (they were giving them out) and sipped on it saying that compared to the Takoyaki it was lukewarm. Funny Sam!

Oh anyway, I got some candy that I had once seen on a RRcherrypie video! As Teresa came over to my place today, I decided to open the candy kit.

My creation is on the left and Teresa's making her Panda on the right!

Pandango (Or that's what it says on the packaging)



Pretty much a mixture of water and powder





Complete!

According to Teresa, the sauce was really sweet. I was actually confused by the sauce because when I first tasted it, I thought it tasted salty and then the sweetness sort of kicked in and I continued to eat it in confuzzlement.

Oh, I almost forgot! Jamie gave me this bag at the AFA and I absolutely love it! It's so gorgeous and I've just started watching this anime. Thank you so much, Jamie!

By the way, if you're still wondering about the "Head-Splitting Volumes" part in this post's title, it refers to the music booths at the AFA which had really loud music playing from the speakers, wheeee!

You Have Earned The Skill "Sewing" and +340XP!

It'll be a quick update today as I do not have much to say.  To make a long story short, I shall just say that I've been busy as usual but managed to find time to complete a project!

Yes, as according to the title, I've just learnt to sew. Shortly after picking up the needle, I embarked on the journey of completing my first sewing project.

Definition: My First Sewing Project <mye^ fe.rst so-ying pro-je^k>: The adorable little guy made out of felt and buttons. A handmade scalemate.

Indeed! I have made my first sewing project a Scalemate.

Isn't it pretty? Even if I do say so myself.

I made it with the help of this tutorial!

I guess you could still see the messy stitches on it but as a friend kindly puts it, there is still a sense of accomplishment. Oh and I shall need practice!

Well, as this is a short post made longer thanks to the help of a photograph, I suppose I shall include a picture of a badly-drawn horse below.

Just For Fun.

Till next time!

A Rather Short Post

Sometimes I really don't know how to react towards certain situations. And even with my best intentions or in a joking manner, I end up being insensitive.

Other than the fact that I could very possibly have a rather low EQ, I simply am unable to comprehend the atmosphere of a place and tend to blurt out things on impulse. This makes me an ridiculously insensitve bumbling idiot.

I can imagine myself rolling down a flight of stairs while wearing a t-shirt that says "Ridiculously Insensitive".

I like Chinese paintings. It looks very pretty and delicate yet very grand and majestic in a way. I really liked the Chinese painting course that we had in Art class in Primary.

Oh anyway, back to what I wanted to write about before I got distracted by Chinese paintings and fruit juice, I am reminded of the awfully insensitive words I tend to blurt out.

And sometimes I wonder whether that's what makes people so angry or upset with me.

Is that the reason or am I just missing the real point of everything?

Hmm, either way, I guess I do have the potential or am actually a rather mean and horrid person without realising it.

Well, I have tried apologising or trying to cover up before but I just make things worse at times.

So therefore, I shall use the following paragraph to convey my intentions and sincerity on making up for my stupidity.


Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sory Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry.

Well, sorry for being a bumbling impulsive idiot.

Anyway, I thought that I would be an expert in typing out "Sorry" by line 3 but it seems that I even made a mistake on the last "Sorry". I shall have to brush up on my typing of "Sorry" skills and then I can type even more.

I suppose you could consider this post a rather sad one but then again I feel that an apology is needed.

But no matter what I do, things just keep on bothering me.

Maybe I should just stop apologising before things get worse.

Oh look at me writing my emotions down on this blog, it won't be long before I crack and end up explaining what's been bugging me.

But I suppose I shan't, I really don't want to. I shall now walk out of my room in which I am currently surrounded by pale white walls that seem to stain with a ghastly yellow with age.

Then I shall appreciate the good things that sometimes balance out the bad.

Well, for one, this post isn't as short as I thought.

And I haven't even walked out of the room yet, fancy that.

That Doesn't Solve Anything

On the bright side, there is nothing to solve.

Except for this puzzle game I found in my drawer.

So anyway, as this is a blog which is a web log which is really suppose to be a web diary but I don't really use it for that reason sometimes, I have decided to write a little about today's events, hooray.

Look, that was a unintentionally long sentence that makes only a little sense!

I got back some of my examination papers today. It's pretty awful considering the fact it's all 'B's and then a 'C'. I'm getting back the rest of them tomorrow and if I'm lucky, I might just get a nice(sarcasm) long rows of 'B's and a little 'C' here and there.

Before I slam my head against the desk which is calling out to me, I must tell myself not to worry so much about the results but rather learn from the wonderful(sarcasm, again)mistakes I have made in my papers.

I am now free to slam my head against the desk.

However, I would advise you not to follow my example seeing how you have not hired a stunt double like I did.

Unfortunately, my stunt double happens to be myself from a parallel universe whose life is pretty much the same except she has a different calculator.

Oww...stunt double me, don't hit too hard. I can feel the pain too you know?

For the rest of this blog post, I shall just copy some parts from my notebook which I use as a journal  in and then edit it a little and type it out in this white typing-typy-type box.

Fantastic.

That reminds me, I bought my first Betty Crocker product on my way home from school last Wednesday!

It's actually a Betty Crocker Pancake Mix(Just Add Water!).



Looks promising...


I tried making them but they came out really messy(aka nothing like the picture on the box) and I accidentally made tons of them.



The first pancake!


That afternoon, I had stuffed myself with so many pancakes that I felt sick and didn't want anymore pancakes.

Perhaps this is due to the absence of maple syrup?

I shall buy some to go with the next batch of pancakes I make.

Sounds like a good plan.

On Thursday, I had a Kirby Day in which I spent four or so hours hunched over my brother's tiny laptop to play Kirby's Dream Land. As much I hate admitting this but thank you Gamefaqs for saving my lack of skills again.

Other than the huge blast of nostalgia I had over the weekends, an hour of Dead Space(which involves yelling at the screen), an attempt at learning to play the theme song from Halloween(the movie, Michael Myers anyone?) and going on to the next stage in Spore, I would say that my weekend was spent rather wisely(HOMESTUCK!).

I have just realised that I intended to copy parts of my journal to be in this post but ended up just reading through the entries and rewriting them completely for the sake of this post.

Silly me. But it is rather therapeutic typing again.

And about the matter that has been bothering me for some time now, I think I'm ready to let go of it. Honestly, it's a real relief.

I was really tempted to just fill this whole blog post with youtube video after video as a way of showing you what I've been up to recently other than what I described in the paragraphs above.

If you must know, I've been listening to Mindy Gledhill(I should post a song below?) and watching the episodes of Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series that I've missed(Gee, I can't believe I missed a couple!).

It's kind of been driving me up the wall lately, the fact that there's people who need help but I don't know how to help people because I usually make things worse.Therefore, I can only smile and talk about random things because that's the only thing I can do for now.

I don't really know what else to tell you (or anyone who is actually reading this blog) but I guess I'll just add a little video to this post.

It's a confuzzling Tuesday, isn't it?

Idiosyncratic Tendencies

In which I am unable to describe my current mood and decide to make a blog post with title that contains one of my favourite words. I like the way idiosyncratic sounds.

Like idio-syn-cratic.

To be honest, something has been bugging me for a long time. I don't think I'll ever post the problem here but I guess what I can say is that you don't remember how much you've missed something till you miss it again.

And again.




And again.







Again.


On a completely materialistic note, I've gotten myself a new pair of glasses! The challenge was to find the strangest pair of glasses that no one would buy. At least I won't miss this pair when someone steps on it again.

There's a lot of uses for the word "again" isn't there?

The History examination was today. I think History holds one fascinating fact that we constantly make mistakes and we are always reminded of it even in the form of a school textbook.

Come to think of it, my blog posts seem to have changed so much. If you check the first few posts of this blog, they were much more materialistic and had a rather cheerful tone.

But as you read towards the present they get more depressing.

Or at least less cheerful.

The posts now drip with boredom. You can almost hear a tired voice seeping through the pages of the blog in a vein-like pattern that spreads out.

I have no understanding of the things I type these days, honestly.

Driving A Golf Cart Up a Fence

Things have been absolutely insane for a while as a result of my impulsive decisions.

Honestly, I haven't really been writing much due to the fact that should I truly write what is on my mind, the blog will be flooded with depressing poems and laments of a tiny little girl who could so very much be called Thumbelina.

Ah, now what does Thumbelina want to say? Oh right. By the way, no more symbolistic third person writing from here onwards. I've got a couple of tests tomorrow and a pile of homework but I cannot seem to feel the urgency and need to do my homework as of now.

Alright, maybe I have exaggerated the first sentence but it has really been an emotional roller coaster so I doubt that exaggeration does not deem as fitting.

PANCAKES. I really want pancakes now.

Carbohydrates in the form of a sweet treat and sticky syrup. All that butter. There are days where I can't decide whether I like waffles or pancakes more. I mean, pancakes are all soft and "buttery-er" but waffles are chewy and has this awesome song for it (Just search up "Do You Like Waffles" on youtube").

WOAH WOOOAAAH OH WOOOAH OH PIZZA BAGEL.

I need to type completely random things that can sometimes be deemed as "childish" by cynical and bitter people (who have decided to stop waiting for Peter Pan to appear at their window and take them away to Neverland) as I like to believe that keeps me from being less open-minded. Kids can come up with the best and funniest things ever and I'd give them my total respect if it wasn't for the fact that they sometimes like to kick you at the cashier counter queues in supermarket.

Somehow I think this idea to act like a young excitable child may sometimes backfire on me. Especially when I start clapping my hands on going "Yay!" when I see the rare Good Job stamp on my test on my worksheets.

Look, they are rare alright? Not every teacher still treats us like kids and stamp these bright green words when we do an excellent job.

I shall now go finish off the rest of my crackers and cheese.

Irony

This is the post in which I show you my attempt to give the almost-instagram (using a polaroid-esque phone app which is not instagram) to a stray cat.

AND YES! I am very much aware I have not been posting anything recently on this blog. I shall, however, not apologise for being greatly distracted by the feeling of being forgotten, school work and Homestuck in that order.

By the way, here's the cat.





Newsletter Nostalgia

As the title suggests, this post will contain useless facts about the things I've done. I may be twenty or thirty years too early to be nostalgic but it's never too late to get used to being old isn't it? To make a long elaboration into a short single sentence summary, this is the story of how some newsletters I've written for came about.

Because name me one kid who didn't try starting up their own newsletter for fun on pieces of stapled scrap paper.

The International Science and News Magazine was a self-published magazine I made at the age of nine. The price was written as "20 cents" but was actually only free for borrowing. The articles in it weren't very reliable, after all most of it derived from whatever health fad my Mom went through at that time and whatever theories my father and brother came up with to disprove its effectiveness.

Nevertheless, I wrote short eight sentence articles along with messy crosswords drawn without a ruler and animal facts from The Hemisphere Kid which I subscribed to back then but never bothered to actually read. I stopped writing for this magazine after a few issues.

Other than writing newsletters and stories on scrap paper to entertain others, I was eleven when I discovered a newspaper written by another class. They published a newspaper and a magazine named after their own class which was read by their own classmates.

Fascinated, I thought about starting up my own but needed help in gaining readership and people to help with the articles. Lucky for me, a friend of mine liked the idea of starting a class newspaper.

We spent Science lessons coming up with ideas and finally writing them down on pieces of foolscap paper stapled together. She did most of the main illustrations and I got to do some of it. Articles in the newspaper was mostly taken from websites and news travelling around the school.

Fake advertisments were placed in there including sign-ups for the "Official Whiny Netball Club" for people like me who were afraid of playing netball. The advertisement promised that upon joining the club, a box with the color of your choice, will be given to you so that you can put it over your head so you can't see where the ball is headed during your P.E. lesson.

The newspaper even had a comic section filled with dry and morbid humor. There was one page at the end left for me to write in which I called "Aunt Sarcastic".

Well, as I believe, in every cheerful sunshine-and-fluffy-kittens kid there is a sarcastic and ever sceptical person waiting to get out.

For my eleven year old self, it came in the form of a grumpy old lady with a college degree in evil.

Aunt Sarcastic was a cartoon elderly woman who wore soft grandma cardigans with a beanie and a skull and crossbones t-shirt. She mostly had a snappy and rather rude retort to every letter she got as she was pretty much the opposite of an Agony Aunt. Again, the dry sense of morbid humor was applied to Aunt Sarcastic's letters and an email account was created for her but I have never used it.

So that's the story behind some of the newsletters/newspapers/magazines I've written. I've written more than these two but I didn't have as much fun writing the other newsletters compared to these.

Now I can't seem to figure out a better way to end this post.

Would this be the appropriate moment to say go figure?

In Which The Title "Happy Curtains" Will Not Match the Post Content

First I would like to toast a glass to the longest title for a post on this blog so far.

Secondly, I would like us to put down our imaginary glasses of Ribena for now. If you have been following the posts in the blog, you'd realise that the posts are getting more depressing.

It's like when you read my posts, the tension from the seriousness of it on your computer screen can be cut with the pointy end of the cursor.

Not really.

Anyway, today's post is on the topic of "Problems".

Not just any problem like a puzzle though but problems that psychologically terrify and change you for the worse. What everyone knows is that everyone has a terrifying problem that confuses them and changes them.

What everyone doesn't realise until they sit down and actually think is why they feel so lost and alone when faced with these questions.

We're afraid of being judged.

The thing is, we are desperate to find someone to share our problems with and hopefully(with a bit of luck), they will understand and be able to not just sympathise but actually empathise. Unfortunately, it is in human nature to judge someone when you do not understand their point of view.

What does it mean to be judged when your point of view is not the same as the person judging you?

Well, I guess that everyone has a certain idea of what this "terrifying problem" is. For some people, it is a big problem when you are lonely and have no one to talk to. For others, they can put up with being lonely but when they face verbal abuse, it is the breaking point for them.

To put it in a conclusion, we tend to judge the problems of others based on what we, as individuals, think is a awful problem. For some strange reasons, no matter how aware we are of the fact, we are unable to think that it is not the situation the person is in that decides how terrible and psychologically affecting the problem may be, but by how big the negative impact on the said person really is.

With this fact in mind, we are afraid that we are unable to find someone to empathise with us, or worse, judge us negatively on how we react to the problems we are facing.

Yes, we have all scoffed at someone. I know I have. Sometimes, when I see people whining and crying over schoolwork, I tend to think "How is that such a big problem? I have the same exact homework as you and you're crying over it? I have even bigger problems than that!"

I guess I too forget that I'm not suppose to judge the situation but the impact of the situation on the person.

Sure, it's difficult to empathise with someone when we believe that there are bigger problems than the problem of the person who we have difficulty empathising with but we have got to try our best to take that mental block we have away as much as possible. Catch yourself making judgements on the person's problem? It's alright, just stop and try to concentrate on what the person who is telling you about their problem is saying.

And if anyone wants to compare problems with me to try and judge me, go right ahead. I'm providing the details at the bottom because I need to tell someone or something that is not my pale-white wall.

I'm lonely and frustrated that I don't have much friends to talk to. Whatever friends I have left feek distant and I feel like I'm always left out of the loop. I hate that I've changed so much this year and that I've been unable to concentrate on anything. I hate that I can be so mean at times and I'm so afraid that I've hurt people without knowing it. I hate that when I hear laughter, I think people are laughing at me even if they're complete strangers. I'm upset that I feel second to everyone. I don't have a friend to confide in and to empathise for me. I don't understand why I have to urge to cry and I tear up all the time without even understanding why. I hate that I think these are big problems. I hate that this paragraphs is so full of "I"s.

Some may choose to wonder why I lose sleep over such "petty problems" and some may actually understand. Honestly, I really dislike it when people cut me off while I'm talking to them and then try to compare their problems to mine and it makes me feel worse because they make me feel like as if my problems aren't terrifying or important.

But in the end, we can't force people to share their problems and we can't expect to always be able to understand everyone. We also can't expect people to act the way we want them to.

But hey, that's some people isn't it. Just like how there are some things we can never truly solve or understand.




P.S. Perhaps I have made a slight mistake in my post title about the post not matching the title but boy do the curtains in the video have the potenital to look happy.